MONDAY
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Jack O'Toole: "I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead."
Xander: "Yeah, but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's little bits being swept up by a janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that."
(The Zeppo)
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Fortune Cookies:
Francois: "Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?"
Inspector Clouseau: "The exploding kind."
---The Pink Panther Strikes Again
"People who don't Think probably don't have Brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake."
---A.A. Milne, "Pooh's Little Instruction Book"
Holly: "Engage drive. Drive engaged. Initialise ignition sequence. Ignition sequence initialized."
Rimmer: "Get on with it!"
Holly: "Takes time, this. One slight error in any one of my 13 billion calculations, we'll all be blown to smithereens. Here we go then. Ten... nine... eight... six... five... four..."
Rimmer: "You missed number seven!"
Holly: "Did I? I've always had a bit of a blind spot for sevens."
Rimmer: "We're going to die."
Holly: "No problem. I'll start lower down. One, blast off."
---Red Dwarf
"Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them."
---Wall Street
"Canadians are cold so much of the time that many of them leave instructions to be cremated."
---Cynthia Nelms
WEDNESDAY
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Buffy: "To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing."
(Welcome to the Hellmouth)
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Fortune Cookies:
"Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect."
---Ralph Waldo Emerson
"First things first, but not necessarily in that order."
---Doctor Who
"Practical wisdom is only to be learned in the school of experience. Precepts and instruction are useful so far as they go, but, without the discipline of real life, they remain of the nature of theory only."
---Samuel Smiles
"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them."
---Antoine de Saint-Exupery , "Little Prince"
"There it was, hidden in alphabetical order."
---Rita Holt
FRIDAY
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Cordelia: "Oh God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car...whenever he wants!"
Xander: "Yep, you're doomed to havin' to give him and his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it, and those guys never chip in for gas."
(Passion)
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Fortune Cookies:
"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments".
---Robert Orben
"Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange."
---Robin Morgan
Navin: "I'm hitchhiking".
Driver: "Where are you going?"
Navin: "St. Louis. How far are you going?"
Driver: "To the end of this fence."
Navin: "Okay.(he gets in the truck) I'm Navin Johnson. What's your name sir?"
Driver: "Here we are!"
Navin: "Okay, thanks for the company. I hope I can repay you someday."
---The Jerk
"Of course, if you've ever gotten a surprise package, you can imagine how puzzled and excited Milo was; and if you've never gotten one, pay close attention, because someday you might."
---Norton Juster , "The Phantom Tollbooth"
"I once got pulled over and the cop said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "Why? Because I had my foot to the floor. Sends more gas through the carburetor. Makes the engine go faster. The whole car just takes off like that."
I said, "See this?? ?? This steers it." "
---Steven Wright
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