MONDAY
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Cordelia: "My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?"
Xander: "Three minutes."
Cordelia: "So can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly."
Buffy: "..."
Cordelia: "We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax."
(School Hard)
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Fortune Cookies:
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
---Charlie McCarthy (Edgar Bergen)
Lina: "If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as if our hard work ain't been in vain for nothing."
---Singin' in the Rain
"A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor."
---Victor Hugo
"There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend."
---Katharine Butler Hathaway
TUESDAY
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Cordelia: "Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna have the loser friends you've got now."
(When She was Bad)
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Fortune Cookies:
"My God," complained Arthur, "you're talking about a positive mental attitude and you haven't even had your planet demolished today."
---Adams Douglas/Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
---Albert Einstein
"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'"
---Ronnie Shakes
"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
---William James
WEDNESDAY
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Cordelia: "Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend."
Lyle: "WIFE!"
Cordelia: "Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. <i>I'm</i>the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?"
(Homecoming)
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Fortune Cookies:
"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy"
--- Norman Vincent Peale
"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
--- Eric Hoffer
Oscar Madison: "I'm in for a quarter."
Murray: "Aren't you going to look at your cards first?"
Oscar Madison: "What for? I'm gonna bluff anyway."
--- Odd Couple
Elwood: "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull &*%$."
--- Blues Brothers
THURSDAY
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Cordelia: "People who think their problems are so huge craze me, like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg. Like my pain meant nothing."
(Invisible Girl)
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Fortune Cookies:
"When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point-of-view is seldom necessary."
---Terry Pratchett 'Small Gods'
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
---Unknown
"Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."
---Charles M. Schulz
Chandler: "All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason."
Monica: "Yeah. You!"
Chandler: "All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?"
Phoebe: "Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle."
---Friends
"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation."
---George Bernard Shaw
FRIDAY
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Cordelia: "Well, I better get mingling. I really should be talking to people that *are* somebody. But it was fun!"
Angel: "It's nice that she's grown as a person."
(City Of)
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Fortune Cookies:
"Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down."
---Wilson Mizner
"Bob Sugar: It's not "show friends." It's show business."
---Jerry Maguire
"Vanity! Thy name is woman! "
---William Shakespeare, Hamlet
"You are not born for fame if you don't know the value of time."
---Vauvenargues
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