MONDAY
********************************************
Spike: "It's that guy... on TV ... what's his name?"
Glory: (frowns) "On the television?"
Spike: "That show ... the prize show ... where they guess what stuff cost?"
Murk: "The Price Is Right?"
Jinx: "Oh, Bob Barker!"
Murk: "We will bring you Bob Barker! We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Bark-"
Glory: "It is not Bob Barker, scabby morons!"
(Intervention)
********************************************
Fortune Cookies:
"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
---Gallagher
Veronica: "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host."
---Heathers
"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building."
---Charles M. Schulz
"There are days when any electrical appliance in the house, including the vacuum cleaner, offers more entertainment than the TV set."
---Harriet Van Horne.
Happy: "The price is wrong BITCH!" (said after he punches out Bob Barker)
---Happy Gilmore
TUESDAY
********************************************
Luke: "You forget, metal can't hurt me. "
Buffy: "There's something you forgot about, too. Sunrise!"
She throws the stand at the window behind Luke. He ducks, and it breaks the window behind him. A bright light pours in through it. Buffy spies the stake she dropped on the stage and picks it up. Luke gets up and shields his face with his hands, expecting to be burned. He stops when he realizes it's only a bright lamp.
Buffy: "It's in about nine hours, moron! "
(The Harvest)
*********************************************
Fortune Cookies:
"There are more fools in the world than there are people."
---Heinrich Heine
"To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood."
---George Santayana
"By their own follies they perished, the fools"
---Homer
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
---Rita Rudner
WEDNESDAY
***********************************************
Buffy: No offence, but you do look wicked conspicuous.
Riley: I do? But its... Paintball! Yeah, I was playing paintball. And then the aftershocks...
Xander: So youre one of the commando guys, huh?
Riley laughs: :Oh, no, no, no, no. Commando? No, I mean... (Notices Spike) Dont I know you?
Spike: Me? (Affecting a bad Texan accent) No. No, sir. Im just an old pal of Xanders here.
Riley: Oh. Thats nice.
(Doomed)
**********************************************
Fortune Cookies:
Biff: You're so gullible, McFly!
---Back to the Future
'If a person were to try stripping the disguises from actors while they play a scene upon stage, showing to the audience their real looks and the faces they were born with, would not such a one spoil the whole play? And would not the spectators think he deserved to be driven out of the theatre with brickbats, as a drunken disturber? Now what else is the whole life of mortals but a sort of comedy, in which the various actors, disguised by various costumes and masks, walk on and play each one his part, until the manager waves them off the stage ? Moreover, this manager frequently bids the same actor to go back in a different costume, so that he who has but lately played the king in scarlet now acts the flunkey in patched clothes. Thus all things are presented by shadows.'
---Erasmus, The Praise of Folly
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
---Galilei Galileo
"I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe."
---Leo Rosten
THURSDAY
******************************************
Xander: "I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton and I don't feel any diff--never mind."
---(Bandcandy)
******************************************
Fortune Cookies:
"Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker."
---Ogden Nash, "Reflections on Ice-Breaking"
"The purpose of life is to fight maturity."
---Dick Werthimer
Hal Griffith: "How'd they get you to stay?"
Louanne Johnson: "They gave me candy and called me their light."
Hal Griffith: "That'll do it."
---Dangerous Minds
"Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The candy man, the candy man can
The candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a strawberrylemon pie
The candy man?
The candy man, the candy man can
The candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Willy Wonka makes everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes
Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream
The candy man, Willy Wonka can, the candy man can
The candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good'
Cause the candy man thinks it should"
---Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, "The Candy Man"
FRIDAY
*******************************************
Spike: "But I did, pet. I did it for you. You keep punishing me. Carrying on with creatures like this."
Chaos Demon: "Okay, you guys obviously have a thing going on here."
Drusilla: "I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes."
Spike: "So this is my fault now?"
Chaos Demon: "I didn't know she was seeing somebody. (off Spike's look) I should take off."
Spike: "Yeah, why don't you do that?"
(Fool For Love)
********************************************
Fortune Cookies:
"It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious."
---Alfred North Whitehead
"The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced."
---Vic Gold
"Another Saturday Night, but I ain't got nobody
I got some money, 'cause I just got paid
How I wished I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way, take this
I got to town a month ago,
I seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet them I could get them
But as yet I haven't met them
That's why I'm in the shape I'm in
Another Saturday Night, but I ain't got nobody
I got some money, 'cause I just got paid
How I wished I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way, take this
Now, another fella told me,
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of being my deliverance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat named Frankenstein
It's a hard on a fella, when he don't know his way around
If I won't find me a honey to help me spend my money
I'm gonna blow this town, hear
Another Saturday Night, but I ain't got nobody"
---Sam Cooke
|
