Home

Anya Etiquette | Auld Lang Syne | The Bard | Hootenany | Sweet Home, Chicago | Doh!! | Love, Fanfiction-style | Heroes | Hush, the Musical | Mayor Wit | My Favorite Wiccan | The Oscar goes to ... | Please refer to the manual | Restless | Sensitivity (Cordy-style) | Shaken, not Stirred | Something Silly this Way Comes | Spike, the Undead Therapist | Squint with Clint | Totally 80s part 1 | Totally 80s part 2 | Totally 80s part 3 | Wonderful World of Oz | Xander-ific | Say What?? | Thanks, I'll Just Have the Salad... | The G-man Speaketh | The 70s | It's Always the Quiet Ones... | Miracles | More Nekkid Men | More Nekkid Women | Power of Poultry | Take me out to the Ballgame
BTVS Fortune Cookies by Bos...
The G-man Speaketh


MONDAY
*************************************************
Giles: "Buffy Summers is a minor, and is entitled to a public education. Your personal dislike of the girl does not legally entitle you to..."
Snyder: (interrupts) "Why don't you take it up with the city council?"
Giles: "I thought I'd start with the State Supreme Court. You're powerful in local circles, but I believe I can make life very difficult for you, professionally speaking. (confidently) And Buffy <i>will</i> be allowed back in."
Snyder: " Sorry. I'm not convinced."

He tries to go again. Giles grabs him by the lapel and shoves him back into his filing cabinet.

Giles: (grining) "Would you like me to convince you?"
(Dead Man's Party)
**************************************************

Fortune Cookies:

"You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through."
---Rosalynn Carter

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
---Mark Twain

"A bully is not reasonable - he is persuaded only by threats."
---Marie De France

"If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything."
---Confucius



TUESDAY
****************************************
Giles: "Angel's not taking you, is he?"
Buffy: "Angel's leaving me. He's leaving town."
Giles: "Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say. Um, I understand that this sort of thing requires ice cream of some kind?"
(The Prom)
******************************************

"My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those who are sad."
---Olive Schreiner

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
---Leo Buscaglia

"There is no greater loan than a sympathetic ear."
---Frank Tyger

"Ice cream? Wait a minute. It's amazing how quickly you recover from misery when someone offers you ice cream."
---Neil Simon "Brighton_Beach_Memoirs"



WEDNESDAY
*************************************************
Giles: "Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real!"
Buffy: "What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?"
Giles: "Ah, w-w-w-yes".
Buffy: "Did you get the free phone?"
Giles: "Um, the calendar."
(Welcome to the Hellmouth)
*************************************************

Fortune Cookies:

Homer: "Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart's a vampire! Beer kills brain cells! Now let's go back to that...building...thingie...where our beds and TV...is."
---Simpsons

"Reality isn't what it used to be."
---Walter Truett Anderson

Morpheus: "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it. "
---The Matrix

"Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event."
---Oscar Wilde

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."
---Garrison Keillor



THURSDAY
****************************************
Giles: "Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore."
(Enemies)
****************************************
Fortune Cookies:

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
---Andrew S. Tanenbaum

"When money talks, nobody notices what grammar it uses."
---Anonymous

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."
---Vincent T. Lombardi

"There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes
and villains, the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch."
---Bette Davis

"The best things in life are free
But you can keep them for the birds and bees
Now give me money
That's what I want
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want

You're lovin' gives me a thrill
But you're lovin' don't pay my bills
Now give me money
That's what I want
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want

Money don't get everything it's true
What it don't get, I can't use
Now give me money
That's what I want
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want, wah

Money don't get everything it's true
What it don't get, I can't use
Now give me money
That's what I want
That's what I want, yeah
That's what I want

Well now give me money
A lot of money
Wow, yeah, I wanna be free
Oh I want money
That's what I want
That's what I want, well
Now give me money
A lot of money
Wow, yeah, you need money
now, give me money
That's what I want, yeah
that's what I want"
---The Beatles "Money (That's What I Want)"



FRIDAY
************************************
Giles: "Just not used to automatic transmission. I loathe this just sitting here, not
contributing. No, no, no, it's just not working out."
Buffy: "Giles, are you breaking up with your car?"
Giles: "Well, it did seduce me. All red and sporty."
Buffy: "Little two-door tramp"
(The Real Me)
***********************************

fortune cookies:

"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it."
---Dudley Moore

"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
---Russell Baker

"Little deuce Coupe
You don't know what I got
Little deuce Coupe
You don't know what I got

Well I'm not braggin' babe so don't put me down
But I've got the fastest set of wheels in town
When something comes up to me he don't even try She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don't know what I got)

Just a little deuce coupe with a flat head mill
But she'll walk a Thunderbird like it's standin' still
She's ported and relieved and she's stroked and bored
She'll do a hundred and forty with the top end floored
She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don't know what I got)

She's got a competition clutch with the four on the floor
And she purrs like a kitten till the lake pipes roar
And if that ain't enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing, I got the pink slip daddy

And comin' off the line when the light turns green
Well she blows 'em outta the water like you never seen
I get pushed out of shape and it's hard to steer
When I get rubber in all four gears

She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don't know what I got)
She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don't know what I got)
She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got"
--- The Beach Boys, "Little Deuce Coupe"

Ralphie: "Some men are Baptists...others Catholics...My father was an Oldsmobile man."
---Christmas Story